Is it wrong to watch birth videos on youtube?

I'm 14 years old and I was curious so I went on you tube and just watched birth videos when I was 12. They were a little graphic but I wasn't bothered by it. But for some reason I feel REALLY guilty. Nobody knows I did it because its too embarring for me to tell. My mom would kill me if she knew. And my other family members' going to make me become an obstetrician.